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Meet Ezekiel
Ezekiel is an Aquarius who is known amongst his enemies for having amazing hair, much to their chagrin.
He likes to make sock puppets (87 and counting!), reading encyclopedias from the 1980s, and Arby’s double beef n’ cheddars.
He hates jelly sandals (join the club, sir), bubblegum flavored toothpaste, and the patriarchy.
Marco Lopez
Marco is a passionate Scorpio and is known amongst his inner circle for being impeccably polite until he’s not.
He likes watching shows about aliens (they’re real y’all), spending time curating an extensive collection of cow salt and pepper shakers, and reading romance with a side of murder.
He hates geese (I think he once had an altercation with one and lost), people who use speakerphone in public settings, and the exploitation of natural resources.
Cesco Vella
Cesco is a self professed Taurus king and is known for having to duck under most door frames.
He likes bears (both literally and figuratively), matcha because he feels we don’t eat enough grass as a species, and writing inanimate object romance.
He hates the letter K, animals that don’t have shoulders (he’s looking at you snakes), and Tuesday mornings.
Rod Lujano
Rod is a vivacious Virgo that everyone wants to be around.
He proudly advocates for his fellow lefties both within and outside of the queer community.
After managing to survive a childhood with coke bottle glasses he went on to be the state oratory champion which truly shows his natural charisma and his ability to overcome.
However both southpaws and northpaws will have to keep their paws to themselves, he’s happily married!